I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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