so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
