if you like me you must not know who I am
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
