I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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