O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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