Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
