I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
