Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
