And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
