The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
