was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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