we're blogging at a bar
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He did a backflip because drugs
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