so explain again why im purple
no
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
