OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
