he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize