return my video game
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
