I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
