i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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