I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
