I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We're too hungover to prance.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
