I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
