in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my shit smells like andre
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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