So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
