i just had sex bonerless
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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