Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
