I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
