i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the day after is always just damage control
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she told me i tasted like america
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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