i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
