I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
