I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
