Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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