im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
