Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
