i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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