a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
worst night to have a conscience
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
