I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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