oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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