my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize