The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize