Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
