I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
