Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
