Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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