I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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