So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
