I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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