ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
