I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
