I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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