just come out here and I will go home with you...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
