Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
