STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
