whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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