I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
