Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
