weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
