its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
