how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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