My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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