I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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